The final day of The Failure Tour.
I met Jim & Nicole in Rock Island, Illinois.
That’s a Quad City.
If you can name the other three cities, jot your answers down on a 3×5 notecard along with a SASE and send it to:
Grand Central Station
New York, NY 10101
The first 600 correct answers will each receive 400 autographed Cadillacs!
Ugh, so anyway.
Rock Island is home to Daytrotter.
They’ve been recording bands for six years now, placing the results all over the internet.
I’ve always wanted to do one of these.
Great gear lying around everywhere.
Rhodeses and Farfisas and 12-string viola guitars.
We did these songs:
Magic Marker Blackout (3 takes)
Dropout Boogie (2 takes)
Garbage Dump (2 takes)
Brand New Pillow (2 takes)
Oh Rebecca (2 takes)
Only a bloop or two total.
It felt like a good session.
They took our picture.
Listen to it here.
While Jim & Nicole split a tiny pizza, I played Time Pilot and Qix on one of those sit down coin-op arcade games. On the way out I hit a Maid-Rite for a Roseanne-style loose meat sandwich.
Must eat indigenous food, must eat indigenous food, must eat…
It was our homecoming show at The Empty Bottle.
Wait, we’re near home.
‘Cuz that Maid-Rite sandwich gave me the Maid-Rongs.
For once I didn’t have to use a horrid, communal venue toilet.
I could just go home.
When in Home.
While I painfully shat my dying insides out in the discomforts of my very own apartment, some bands played. Jim took a picture for proof.
When I returned it was time to play.
A few of my friends came to see the show.
A few means three.
A couple means two.
Several means four.
So half of several of my friends came to see the show.
Luckily, Unicycle’s friends came.
A bunch of them joined us onstage for “Garbage Dump”.
That was fun.
Looking at the people dancing.
It was hot on the stage.
We played our songs.
It was a good crowd.
Gee, I can’t tell if fatigue is affecting my writing.
Maybe Wesley Willis wasn’t mentally ill.
The rock show whipped a hyena’s ass with a belt.
This tour whipped my ass with a belt.
But I saw some new things and that was good.
I left out a lot I guess.
Like when we saw a wild turkey in Jim’s backyard.
Other stuff, too.
It gave me an idea for a novel.
I need to figure out what it is I’m doing.
As in, with my actual life.
I can’t really keep doing this.
Thanks to Unicycle and everyone that put us up, fed us, paid us, helped us out, and made us laugh on the road. No thanks, Lincoln, Nebraska.
I love touring!
Why do we do it!?
I love touring!
Why do we do it?!
I love touring…